Start of a short work week.

It's the start of a short work week and all I can think about is the future ahead.
I have decided that I have two major goals this school year (I can hardly think of this actual year ending and goals being met before then, so I'll set them for June):
1. Re-read J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye, Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar, T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland, and other pertinent high school texts. When I go back to mainstream day school, I'm really going to want to have these under my belt.
2. Get on my way to getting published. I have a collection of short stories and some crappy poetry and I really want to have someone look over it. I don't care if all I ever end up making is just a zine...or possibly even something on Microcosm? Oh, and since I am doing NaNoWriMo again this November, I'll have the chance to shove in some writing and really start to get serious about this goal.

In other news, I feel like I'm in high school again--I mean, aside from teaching it. I've resorted back to having an old crush that I've been talking and writing to quite frequently. It's entirely innocent, but I feel like a fucking 14 year old. I remember back to the days of high school when I would see him at lunch and hope that he saw me too. I was (and really still am for the most part) constantly listening to all of his bands and going to his shows. I thought he was the greatest musician I had ever seen. My first real punk rock show on my own was going to see one of his bands play when I was 13 at the Paseo Camarillo Theater. He revealed that he had a crush on me as well back then, which I think is mostly convenient talk for here and now. But, I will accept it and live in my imagination (which is better than acting on it--keeps out the drama).
What's weird too is that I have a friend back in my hometown! One of the reasons why I don't go back to Camarillo all that much is that I don't have a lot of friends to go and visit. But, getting back in touch with him has opened that channel a bit. We'll see where it goes.
I've been really into this long distance thing lately--Denver dude and high school dude are far, far away. Cole (I just go ahead and use his name...the others will stay anonymous for now, just in case) is back to Portland in a week and I've been talking to him a lot as well. I don't know what's going to happen. I keep anticipating what it's going to be like and how my life will change/stay the same, but I can't do it. Everyone keeps telling me to wait and I'll "just know" when I see him, but what if I don't? Ah.

It's so weird having all of these thoughts floating around in my head. Two of my students just got married (it's fucking crazy) last weekend and here I am acting like a 14 year old. Don't get me wrong--I don't ever want to get married. It's just funny that some people have no problem taking the plunge and here I am, back at 14.

Nonetheless, I am turning in early tonight after reading some Sylvia Plath and staring at the wall: